Two year I went
to Ghana for the first time in 16 years, I meet and old friend that was in my
Sunday school class. I was four years old when we were in Sunday school and he
was eight years old. We started talking when I was in Ghana and started dating
when I came back to U.S. When I came back I didn’t think this relationship was
going to work because we are millions of miles apart. There were times that I
just wanted to give up not because of anything but only because he was “too
far” and I wasn’t able to see him like the way I wanted to see him. We
think that “talking” to that person almost daily, and visiting each other
monthly of semi-monthly equals a relationship. Which is not true, because I’ve
seen relationships were they talk and visit each other when ever they want but
yet it still feel apart.
If you really want to get individuals to tell you how they “really feel,” ask for their opinions on long-distance relationships. Most of us, for whatever reason(s), have strong negative points about long-distance relationships and in many cases, our perceptions of this type of relationship are driven by personal experiences or experiences of friends. Some folks; however, have views of long-distance relationships based on anecdotal information or unadulterated gossips.
Ask why people are against long-distance relationship and you will almost certainly get one or a combination of these rationalizations: It is really hard; it takes time; it takes too much patience; it is stressful.
While these rationales for opposing long-distance relationship are entirely compelling, a person has to wonder out loud; aren’t all relationships, regardless of proximity, really hard and stressful? Don’t all relationships, in any case, take time and patience?
Believe it or not, many people enter relationships for the wrong reason(s), whatever it may be. Call me naïve, but I absolutely do not think that any relationship will work if people go into the relationship with off the mark reason(s). Heck, you can live next to each other, or in the same house, yet the relationship will falter.
Truth is, a long-distance relationship, like any other
serious relationship, is more than talking and “seeing” each other on occasions
– although these are certainly elements of the relationship. Long-distance
relationship, like any relationship, is a “partnership”. And you do not start a
partnership without identifying your overall goals and/or objectives. BUT, when
it comes to our relationships, most of us are ignorant to what we want from
such relationship.
You see, most people, while they get
into long-distance relationships, are not equipped to handle this type of
relationship and expect things to work out because, “love knows no boundaries”,
we say. We deceive ourselves into thinking that things will work out and when
they don’t we say that long-distance relationships do not work.
Last year when I went to Ghana I was finally able to say,
that long distance relationship can work. Yes, there were times when I wanted
to give up because I was not seeing him and thought he was cheating on me
because I wasn’t there. But it turned out to be that he wasn’t doing any of the
things thought he was doing, it turn out to be that I didn’t trust him. But
after dealing with the trust issue and being able to understand each other, we
were able to make it work. Today I am this planet because I am engage to the
love of my life, that same person that I had doubts about because of distance
and because society said that long distance relationships don’t last. I’ve
learned to out look the distance between us and work on things that are much
more important such as trust, understanding and knowing the real reason why we
are together.
Yes, long-distance relationship can be
challenging. Yes, it may be tougher than close-proximity relationships, yet we
should not be quick to make sweeping negative remarks about long-distance
relationship, especially because we failed at it or are not equipped to deal
with it.
